But I HATE Shopping...

Dear Glinda:

I have been reading your columns and I think your advice is pretty good. However, I don’t think you would be able to help me because I hate to shop. All the advice in the world isn’t going to change the fact that I cannot stand shopping. How am I supposed to change?

Brenda

Brenda:

It may be hard for some readers to believe but there are people out there who hate shopping. Believe it or not but I used to hate shopping too (loved clothes hated the actual shopping). I looked around at everyone else I knew and wondered why I hated it and they all loved it so much. It wasn’t until one day I had to go out and buy something at the last minute that I had a light bulb moment. I HATED shopping with other people. When I would go shopping by myself it was more fun and I could move on and do whatever I wanted.

Your problem could be as simple as that OR you may hate shopping because you have no clue what to wear or what looks good on your body. You didn’t say in your letter but I have to wonder if you feel uncomfortable with your body and just have the mindset that regardless of what you do you will look bad in clothes.

Do you maybe hate actually shopping centers? I hate them too. I tend to focus on shopping online. I find that its easier to find things online than it is in a store. It allows me to look on my own time, try on clothes in my own home and return whatever doesn’t work.

I hope I was able to raise some good questions to help you get to the root of your hate of shopping. If you get to the root of what is stopping you from shopping it will help you transform hate to love.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Bust Issues

Dear Glinda:

A LOT of shirts are cut to emphasize smaller breasts, make them look larger, that sort of thing. I can't find a nice, tailored looking shirt that buttons up and doesn't gape over my chest. Help!

Mary

Mary –

This is something that everyone complains about. This is where you are going to have to get used to one word – tailor. What you need to do is fit your chest. Buy a shirt that fits your chest perfectly then get the rest tailored. It seems like a pain but if you love button down shirts this is something you are going to have to deal with (sorry to be harsh). But if you love something you either need to figure out how to work with it or leave it. If button down shirts don’t work for you why not try shirts that have a few buttons on the top instead of all the way down the shirt. It will give you the same feel but without the issues. Or maybe try a wrap shirt with a “protective” camisole underneath. There are plenty of ways to look polished without using button down shirt.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Casual Chic for Early 30's

Dear Glinda:

I'm 33, and everything seems to be either geared towards career women, mommies (I'm not one) or party girls. What happened to casual chic?

Evie

Evie –

It sure feels that way doesn’t it. It seems impossible to find some good casual clothes that don’t make you look like you’re 15 or its laundry day. It’s a fine line to balance that look. Unfortunately for us casual chic is not exactly laid out for us you have to go searching. I’m a big fan of tshirts with cardigans and jeans. I like to pair a relaxed tshirt with maybe a fun slogan or from a vacation with a cute cardigan and awesome jeans and cute flats. It makes me feel as though I’m dressed relaxed without looking like slob. Some of my friends favor a long sleeve tshirt with dark jeans or a hoodie with a fitted tshirt underneath.

When it comes to casual looks its dead important to get the proportions right. You can’t have a big sweatshirt with baggy jeans you will just end up looking like a big sloppy mess. If you want to wear a baggy top wear a more fitted bottom. If you have a zip up hoodie wear it with a fitted tshirt and jeans. If you have a fitted top you can have a more looser bottom on.

I have to say this but at 33 there is absolutely no reason for you to run around in head to toe sweats unless you are coming from the gym or on your way to the gym. If you are not doing either of those things then NO SWEATS IN PUBLIC. Sweats are for lounging around the house not running around all day in public. If you absolutely must wear them they have to be chicly constructed a la yoga pants with a fitted tshirt and fitted sweat shirts. Nothing out of control. Again this is only if you absolutely cannot break yourself of the sweats habit.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Trendy Pieces for Plus Sized Girls

Dear Glinda:

HATE that larger sizes (I wear between 14 and 18, depending on style) are sooooo geared to my mother's generation! I can't find fashionable, flattering clothing ANYWHERE.

Non-plussed Plus Size

Dear Non-Plussed:

I hear this SO much and I wish the industry would listen. Girls who are 14 or 18 have to shop at Avenue, Lane Bryant and Torrid. All dramatically different and all limited. Either that or settle for the “plus sized” section of department stores which is typically the most depressing collection of clothing I’ve ever seen. They might as well call it the “I give up” section.

This is where online may be your new BFF. Many retailers have a HUGE selection online and many “non plus” sized stores are now carrying up to size 20 on their websites. So while you might not be able to get size 18 pants at Old Navy you can at Old Navy’s website. Again your best bet is to order several things to find your size at that retailer and then return what doesn’t work. Most sites of brick and mortar stores have similar return policies as their stores (usually 30 days) AND you can return stuff at their store so if you don’t want to shell out for return postage simply take it to the store and return the items.

The internet really is a shopping revolution. I wish people would get over going to a store in order to shop. There are SO many amazing websites out there that fit niche clothing markets and have a very impressive selection. Sure ordering online can be trickier than buying in a store but if you do your homework you will be fine. Check size charts since sizing is different everywhere. Check return policies. Once you are armed with all the information you can feel comfortable with making purchases.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Inappropriate Dressing

Dear Glinda:

Don't even get me started on my 49yr old mother's choice of 19 year old's clothing. I'm 28 and I won't wear what she tries to get away with! No, mom, mesh shirts are not okay... even if they're black.

When can I sign her up?

Embarassed Daughter

Dear Embarrassed:

Well, um right now. We are happy to help her and have her learn why mesh shirts are only okay if its 1984 and you live in Queens and are going to a night club.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Stuck In The Middle

Dear Glinda,

One fashion problem I run into is that I am 40 years old and the clothes I find available in the mall are either for teeny boppers or the nursing home. If I can find anything in my size, which leads to...
Fashion problem #2: Finding fashionable clothes in a size above a 12 is really a challenge. The "plus size" stores usually have things in 20w and above. There isn't a lot of choice for those of us that are 14s and 16s. We're too big for the clothes sold at the Gap, NY, NY and Lerner and too small for Torrid and Lane Bryant.

-In The Middle

Dear In The Middle –

If I could I would beat the heck of out everyone who works in the fashion industry. It’s a bunch of fat men telling us we need to be a size 0. Luckily the voices of those who are denied fashionable choices are being heard. Stores like Banana Republic are now carrying pants, tops, dresses in larger sizes.

It’s more of a hunt when you have curves. It’s like being left handed – the world isn’t made for us (try being curvy and left handed – damn bastard genes). Fashion will just not be easy until you figure out your hotspots of finding fashions. You have to get into shopping and get into the hunt and try and make it exciting and fun for yourself.

It’s also important to recognize that stores that carry more “trendy” items are really not going to be somewhere you will want to shop. What you are going to be looking for is more timeless looks as opposed to stuff that will be out of fashion next season.

I would also hunt on the mall stores websites it seems to be in vogue now for the online retailer to carry plus sizes while the bricks and mortar retailer does not. I’d just check their return policy and order some stuff to see how it fits and go from there.

Fashionably,

Glinda