Casual Dressing for the Mature Woman

Dear Glinda -

I'm 77 years young and having trouble finding fashionable clothes. I dress casually and cannot wear the tees and blouses because I have the roll around the middle. I can wear a size 10 in pants as long as the waist is elastic, but tops show my roll so I tend to buy XL, which don't really fit. Where can I find nice-looking clothes that aren't old and dowdy? I hate shopping because I cannot find anything that makes me feel good.

Maggie

Oh, Maggie, we feel for you. There are three main issues in finding clothing for women who are middle-aged and beyond: Age-appropriateness, fit, and lack of availability. As for as age appropriateness goes you should definitely not be raiding your grand daughters closet looking for a great outfit. Anything that is trendy is also going to be an out for you. Women of a certain age look best when they wear more polished and sophisticated looking pieces. Items of clothing that are sort of the “tried and true” of the fashion world. Pieces like wrap blouses, button down shirts, simple sweaters and cardigans, flat front khakis or any flat front pants. These classic pieces wear well and look timeless and casual.

As for fit, well that’s one for the ages. Regardless of age or size pretty much everyone has trouble with properly fitting clothes.

Women put on weight as they get older and weight distributes itself in different places though typically around the middle. Its obvious your efforts at camouflaging your midsection are not serving you. Buying an XL top that doesn’t fit is only going to draw more attention to your middle. When it comes to fit in your tops you need to look for something that is going to skim your body. I imagine an XL is orbiting around your figure. Considering your body shape I would recommend trying tops that are more of a trapeze or empire waisted style. This will help you “hide” your midsection while accentuate your figure in a positive light. (for visual samples of these tops see Glinda’s Fashion Dictionary)

As for trying to find clothes that aren’t dowdy. I would say step out of the “old lady” section of any store. The clothes there are thoroughly depressing. You can search for classic, tailored pieces in any store at the mall. Think Jackie O, think Audrey Hepburn and look for pieces like that. You cannot go wrong with those classic pieces. This will keep you looking sophisticated as opposed to looking like an old fuddy duddy.

Stores like J.Jill, Chico's, and Land's End have fits available that are meant for mature women's bodies, but you won't find out what works for you without trying everything on. The good news is, once you find a store, brand, or style you love, shopping will become much easier.

To get the most out of your wardrobe, look for a few basics that fit well and make you feel great, and then accessorize. Jackets are a great way to polish a look, and they can help to hide a multitude of sins. But, scarves, bright handbags, and jewelry will help give your outfit a modern appeal as well.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Petite Pant Problems

Dear Glinda –

I’m petite (only 5 feet) and a size 8. I’m having a hard time finding pants – they’re either hipsters (not good at 40), short in the crotch or boot legs which I feel make my legs look too shot. Can you recommend a brand of petites that won’t make me lose my mind?

Peeved Petite

Dear Peeved –

I’m not super familiar with petite brands but what it sounds like is that you need to figure out your rise and your leg style. If your legs are feeling short in boot legs then you need to look at where your pants are stopping. If your pants are stopping before the floor then they are too short. When you are petite you need to create the illusion of height. In order to due this you need for your pants to be just hitting the floor. This is going to make you look long no matter what. I would recommend maybe going with a stovepipe leg pant. This is a pant that is the same size all the way down the leg and they look like stovepipes. It will skim your leg up top and the line at the bottom will be beautiful and will make your legs look very long.

As for the crotch grabbing and low waist problem I think that it is just a rise problem. Clearly you need to stay away from a low rise and find a pant with more of a mid rise to it (how do you know? Just try those puppies on – there are no short cuts here). If something is cutting you in the crotch it means the pant is not fitting right. You may absolutely be a size 8 but try on the 10 in the same pant and see if it doesn’t fit better. You can always have the waist of pants taken in if you have to go up a size to get a better fit or length. If seeing the size 10 in your pants makes you feel bad then cut the size out who the hell cares. If the pants fit and you look good that’s all that matters, right?

Fashionably,

Glinda

Grey Hair -Okay or No Way?

Glinda –
How do you feel about women having long, gray hair after 50 (my hair comes below my shoulders). I like my grey hair and I’ve always had long hair, but my friends are telling me its time to cut and color my hair. What do you think?
Jane Grey

Dear Jane –
Hmm this is a toughie. First things first if you hair is just a straight cut I would recommend adding in some layers to give your hair some more movement. A simple layered cut can do wonders for transforming a hair style.

My other concern would be if the grey is washing you out. I would ask your friends if they want you to cut and color your hair because they feel it’s dated, dating you or washing you out. If the reason is that it’s got no pizzazz and is washing you out then I would recommend you do something. Like I said a simple layered cut can help a lot however if your friends tell you the grey hair is washing you out you may need to do some color. I wouldn’t jump in and race back to your old hair color. A good hair dresser would probably recommend going lighter or maybe just adding in some highlights to help you look your best.

I ultimately don’t believe in giving in to peer pressure and I think it’s important to find your own self and what you love about yourself. I have a few grey hairs in the front of my hair and I love them. I think it adds character to my hair. Everyone else is always trying to yank them out or to get me to dye hair. My grey hair bothers them but it doesn’t bother me. So like I said find out if your friends want you to cut and color because they are bothered by your grey hair or if there is some real aesthetic concern here

Fashionably,

Glinda

Affordable Chic for 30-Somethings

Glinda:

Why isn't there an affordable chic for 30-somethings? I can find the clothes, just can't afford them.

Delia

Delia –

Late 20’s and 30-somethings tend to have to harder. Stuff either feels too young or too old. The trick here is to straddle both worlds to find stuff that works. You have to dig in these years to find the good stuff. There are great stores like Zara and H&M that have some affordable and sophisticated styles that are also budget friendly. Target is a great place for key pieces that look chic but are also affordable. Another place that surprised the poo out of me was Kmart. I went in there looking for a fan with a friend and we both left with adorable wrap dresses, cute capris and a few fun tops. Everything was like 10 bucks we were totally peeing ourselves.

Also Forever 21 has some great stuff for nothing. On the surface it seems like a store with a bunch of clothes for 15 year olds but it has some great stuff for the older crowd. There are some really sophisticated dresses, tops, coats, pants, jackets everything all for under 30 bucks. Their accessories department is also ridiculous. Forever 21 copies a lot of what you see in big name designer shops but for a fraction of the cost.

As to the why – that is something I cannot answer. My best guess is that too many late 20’s and 30’s women just accept what’s out there. They figure they can’t wear the girlie stuff for young girls and since the other option is matron wear they just opt for matron wear. With no one complaining or looking for real solutions nothing gets done. In this age bracket you can’t have any prejudice against any store you just have to look. You may walk out going “kids these days with their low cut blouses, mutter, mutter, mutter” or you may walk out going “did I seriously just get all of this awesome stuff for nothing???”.

But I HATE Shopping...

Dear Glinda:

I have been reading your columns and I think your advice is pretty good. However, I don’t think you would be able to help me because I hate to shop. All the advice in the world isn’t going to change the fact that I cannot stand shopping. How am I supposed to change?

Brenda

Brenda:

It may be hard for some readers to believe but there are people out there who hate shopping. Believe it or not but I used to hate shopping too (loved clothes hated the actual shopping). I looked around at everyone else I knew and wondered why I hated it and they all loved it so much. It wasn’t until one day I had to go out and buy something at the last minute that I had a light bulb moment. I HATED shopping with other people. When I would go shopping by myself it was more fun and I could move on and do whatever I wanted.

Your problem could be as simple as that OR you may hate shopping because you have no clue what to wear or what looks good on your body. You didn’t say in your letter but I have to wonder if you feel uncomfortable with your body and just have the mindset that regardless of what you do you will look bad in clothes.

Do you maybe hate actually shopping centers? I hate them too. I tend to focus on shopping online. I find that its easier to find things online than it is in a store. It allows me to look on my own time, try on clothes in my own home and return whatever doesn’t work.

I hope I was able to raise some good questions to help you get to the root of your hate of shopping. If you get to the root of what is stopping you from shopping it will help you transform hate to love.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Bust Issues

Dear Glinda:

A LOT of shirts are cut to emphasize smaller breasts, make them look larger, that sort of thing. I can't find a nice, tailored looking shirt that buttons up and doesn't gape over my chest. Help!

Mary

Mary –

This is something that everyone complains about. This is where you are going to have to get used to one word – tailor. What you need to do is fit your chest. Buy a shirt that fits your chest perfectly then get the rest tailored. It seems like a pain but if you love button down shirts this is something you are going to have to deal with (sorry to be harsh). But if you love something you either need to figure out how to work with it or leave it. If button down shirts don’t work for you why not try shirts that have a few buttons on the top instead of all the way down the shirt. It will give you the same feel but without the issues. Or maybe try a wrap shirt with a “protective” camisole underneath. There are plenty of ways to look polished without using button down shirt.

Fashionably,

Glinda

Casual Chic for Early 30's

Dear Glinda:

I'm 33, and everything seems to be either geared towards career women, mommies (I'm not one) or party girls. What happened to casual chic?

Evie

Evie –

It sure feels that way doesn’t it. It seems impossible to find some good casual clothes that don’t make you look like you’re 15 or its laundry day. It’s a fine line to balance that look. Unfortunately for us casual chic is not exactly laid out for us you have to go searching. I’m a big fan of tshirts with cardigans and jeans. I like to pair a relaxed tshirt with maybe a fun slogan or from a vacation with a cute cardigan and awesome jeans and cute flats. It makes me feel as though I’m dressed relaxed without looking like slob. Some of my friends favor a long sleeve tshirt with dark jeans or a hoodie with a fitted tshirt underneath.

When it comes to casual looks its dead important to get the proportions right. You can’t have a big sweatshirt with baggy jeans you will just end up looking like a big sloppy mess. If you want to wear a baggy top wear a more fitted bottom. If you have a zip up hoodie wear it with a fitted tshirt and jeans. If you have a fitted top you can have a more looser bottom on.

I have to say this but at 33 there is absolutely no reason for you to run around in head to toe sweats unless you are coming from the gym or on your way to the gym. If you are not doing either of those things then NO SWEATS IN PUBLIC. Sweats are for lounging around the house not running around all day in public. If you absolutely must wear them they have to be chicly constructed a la yoga pants with a fitted tshirt and fitted sweat shirts. Nothing out of control. Again this is only if you absolutely cannot break yourself of the sweats habit.

Fashionably,

Glinda